Learning The Benefits Of Eye Contact From A Dog

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Marcel doesn’t need any silly pet tricks to entertain patients, family members and the health care staff when we make our rounds as a volunteer therapy dog team at the local hospital. His “superpower” is locking his eyes with me. He often gazes into my eyes for upwards of 15 seconds, which elicits cries of wonderment when people notice what he’s doing.

“Look at him," family members and friends will say to one another, enjoying a welcome respite which is one of the many advantages of a therapy dog visit. “He’s looking her in the eye!”

We humans used to do that all of the time -- before we became glued to our digital devices. Now, we regularly divert our eyes to check on the latest alerts from our smartphones, smart watches and other devices, leaving less time to make eye contact with each other.

Our work environments also have changed, leading to fewer in-person connections and opportunities for eye contact. For example, we’re often jumping on conference calls or webinars from our cubicle or home office, which means we’re talking without making eye contact. And, if we’re working in a home office or other remote setting, we may be out of practice seeing co-workers during the workday unless we participate in a video conference.

When we do have in-person conversations at work, eye contact happens between 30% and 60% of the time, as I learned during coaching training from Quantified Communications Co-Founder and CEO Noah Zandan based on the firm's analytics. (In the interest of full disclosure, I recently become one of the firm's contract executive communication coaches.)

Yet, if we want to create a sense of emotional connection with others, we need to come across as empathetic, likeable and caring with our body language, which includes more eye contact, according to Carol Kinsey Goman, author of The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help--or Hurt--How You Lead.

When Marcel locks his eyes on me, my first impulse is to return his gaze and feel his love, rather than look at the humans nearby. As the scientific research shows, in these moments he and I both experience increases in oxytocin, nicknamed the “love” and “trust” hormone. This positive feedback loop creates bonding for all pairs, not just for mothers and infants as was originally thought.

My mother trained me to be polite, and I know the power of eye contact for humans as well as dogs. So, I acknowledge Marcel’s possible vulnerable moment by reassuring him that everything is good, which builds even more trust between us.

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Shutterstock

Marcel doesn’t need any silly pet tricks to entertain patients, family members and the health care staff when we make our rounds as a volunteer therapy dog team at the local hospital. His “superpower” is locking his eyes with me. He often gazes into my eyes for upwards of 15 seconds, which elicits cries of wonderment when people notice what he’s doing.

“Look at him," family members and friends will say to one another, enjoying a welcome respite which is one of the many advantages of a therapy dog visit. “He’s looking her in the eye!”

We humans used to do that all of the time -- before we became glued to our digital devices. Now, we regularly divert our eyes to check on the latest alerts from our smartphones, smart watches and other devices, leaving less time to make eye contact with each other.

Our work environments also have changed, leading to fewer in-person connections and opportunities for eye contact. For example, we’re often jumping on conference calls or webinars from our cubicle or home office, which means we’re talking without making eye contact. And, if we’re working in a home office or other remote setting, we may be out of practice seeing co-workers during the workday unless we participate in a video conference.

When we do have in-person conversations at work, eye contact happens between 30% and 60% of the time, as I learned during coaching training from Quantified Communications Co-Founder and CEO Noah Zandan based on the firm's analytics. (In the interest of full disclosure, I recently become one of the firm's contract executive communication coaches.)

Yet, if we want to create a sense of emotional connection with others, we need to come across as empathetic, likeable and caring with our body language, which includes more eye contact, according to Carol Kinsey Goman, author of The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help--or Hurt--How You Lead.

When Marcel locks his eyes on me, my first impulse is to return his gaze and feel his love, rather than look at the humans nearby. As the scientific research shows, in these moments he and I both experience increases in oxytocin, nicknamed the “love” and “trust” hormone. This positive feedback loop creates bonding for all pairs, not just for mothers and infants as was originally thought.

My mother trained me to be polite, and I know the power of eye contact for humans as well as dogs. So, I acknowledge Marcel’s possible vulnerable moment by reassuring him that everything is good, which builds even more trust between us.

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https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2018/04/19/learning-the-benefits-of-eye-contact-from-a-dog/

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