SK health teacher shows students the benefits of choosing love

SOUTH KINGSTOWN—In South Kingstown, health teacher Karen Murphy is helping to show others the benefits of choosing love.

Murphy, a teacher at the high school, learned about the Choose Love program after its creator, Scarlett Lewis, paid a visit to South Kingstown last spring.  

“She was just so genuine and her message on the social and emotional learning piece really hit home to me,” Murphy said. “It’s stuff we talk about in my classes, but just as a movement it’s something I really would like to see at the high school here.”

Lewis’ first-grade son Jesse was one of 26 victims of the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting. Days before being killed Jesse had written on the family’s chalkboard the words “nurturing, healing, love.” And Jesse’s message became the impetus for Lewis’ Choose Love Enrichment Program.

The free program emphasizes teaching to the whole child—“mind, heart and body”—by focusing on courage, gratitude, forgiveness and compassion. The program is currently in classrooms in some 47 states and 13 countries.

And its next stop is South Kingstown.  

Murphy, who’s been working as a health teacher in the South Kingstown School District for nearly 30 years, said that while social and emotional learning—including listening and communication skills—has traditionally been touched upon in elementary school, she doesn’t think it’s enough.

“It’s something that should be across the board educationally, from K through 12 and beyond,” she said. “How much learning can they really get if they’re so caught up in the drama in their lives?”  

Murphy added that, particularly since the advent of smartphones, students’ social lives never leave them—they’re constantly reminded of things they’re missing out on.

“They have these cellphones that they’re carrying around 24-7,” she said. “When you think about it, that’s like their whole life in their pocket 24-7. They have constant contact with their friends, they have constant contact with their families—they never can put that down.”

Students also seem to be under more pressure academically than ever before, Murphy added. She said she hopes the program helps students realize that nobody’s perfect.

“We’re all going to make mistakes in our lives,” she said. “Life is awkward, but we should have skills to go back and reflect on what we’ve done and go back and make amends.”

Learning to apologize—to say “I’m sorry, it was my fault, what can I do to make it better”—is another lesson incorporated into the movement, Murphy added.

According to the Choose Love website, students who receive a social and emotional education achieve higher test scores, have better attention spans, experience less stress and anxiety and fewer behavioral issues, are happier and have higher graduation rates than those who don’t receive such an education.

During a presentation to the school committee earlier this month, SKHS Principal Robert Mezzanotte included the implementation of the Choose Love initiative as a way in which the high school is working on creating a healthy learning culture conducive to preparing students for life outside of the school district.

Murphy intends to roll out the social and emotional classroom program in October, with Lewis scheduled to pay a visit to South Kingstown teachers and faculty members in a couple weeks.  

“I don’t look at it like it’s a curriculum, I don’t look at it like it’s a program, I don’t think Scarlett, when she made it, had that it mind either,” Murphy added. “I think it’s more of a movement.”

Murphy added that the main focus this year will be on the courage unit of the program.

“I think you need courage to do a lot of different things,” she said. “For some kids, just coming to school every day is a courageous thing—it’s looking at how the little things in life show courage, as well.”

And although plans for implementing Choose Love are still being worked out, Murphy has some ideas.

Monthly themes will be implemented at the high school—for example, November will be gratitude month.

“At this point in time we’re still looking at where is it going to fit,” said Murphy, who added that she hopes to see the movement recognized throughout the entire school.   

Murphy said she’s spoken with teachers from other schools that have implemented the program—currently in U.S. schools from New England to Hawaii—and has received rave reviews. In Rhode Island, both the Chariho and North Kingstown school districts are also working on incorporating the program into their curricula. Murphy added she hopes the program can eventually be infused into the middle and elementary schools in South Kingstown.  

“I know Broad Rock has had the Kingian [Nonviolence] movement for years,” she said, “so we’re looking at how they can infuse this into theirs—the last thing we want to do is step on any toes. It’s a process.”

Since learning about the movement, Murphy said she’s made several positive changes in her own life. Choose Love, she said, has influenced how she interacts with her students and has caused her to be more thoughtful in considering consequences before acting.  

“It’s something that I think can help anyone,” Murphy said. “Not just our kids—parents, our teachers, our entire community.”

“We’re all growing,” she continued. “Every single one of us, every single day we’re learning new things.”

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