How to make new friends as an adult and combat loneliness in a new community
Moving to a new location can be isolating and it is normal to struggle to make new friends, however three people who moved to the Queensland town of Bundaberg decided to be proactive and come up with creative ways to become part of their community.
American photographer Marshall Closson moved from Houston, Texas to the small coastal town of Moore Park, just outside of Bundaberg, to care for his aging mother.
Unable to work due to visa restrictions, he struggled to meet new people the traditional way, so instead he set about volunteering his time and creating a new group of friends along the way.
Combatting loneliness through art
Once a fortnight Mr Closson has been bringing the community of Moore Park together to have conversations about art.
He has been teaching an art criticism course to a diverse group of people; from school-aged children through to senior citizens.
He said seeking out and establishing a diverse group of people was something he deliberately fostered.
"It's easy enough to find a group where everyone thinks alike," Mr Closson said.
"But it's important to bring together all ages, all ranges of ability and skills, to be able to communicate — this world is divisive enough."
He started the group to help combat the loneliness he felt after leaving his tight-knit friendship group back in the United States.
Mr Closson said he believed that loneliness is common, but the only antidote is getting out there and doing something.
"Founding a group that I have a passion in — that's a safe place — that will engage and not all think alike, was my method of getting out of the house and getting out of my mind," he said.
"Sometimes we need to turn Facebook off, or Twitter, or whatever it may be, and go and meet somebody."
Using social media to find friends
Business consultant Ellie Di Fiore has proven that social media can be a solution for loneliness.
Ms Di Fiore lived most of her life in Adelaide but moved to Coral Cove on Bundaberg's coast earlier this year.
Working from home and not having children, she knew it was going to be difficult to meet people, so she decided to be proactive online.
"We moved here on February 3," Ms Di Fiore said.
"On March 8 I met three women online who I would now say are my closest friends," she said.
Ms Di Fiore went on to establish an online community of women on Facebook, which holds regular social meet-ups.
"I started The Real Housewives of Bundaberg group to encourage women in the community to connect, not only online but also to be very real in person," she said.
This is not the first time Ms Di Fiore has used social media to find friends.
Two years ago when she moved with her husband to Melbourne, Ms Di Fiore also went online to connect with people in her new neighbourhood.
"In Melbourne, I used Melbourne Exchange to put advertisements out to say 'this is who I am'," Ms Di Fiore said.
"We had a dog at the time [and] I was looking for friends to walk my dog and have a coffee with."
Ms Di Fiore said the difference between the two experiences has been stark.
"It took me ten months to form the friendship group in Melbourne that it's taken me to form here within three weeks," she said.
Ms Di Fiore said the Facebook group she started in Bundaberg has exceeded all her expectations.
"I expected it to be maybe 30 women," she said.
"I didn't expect it to get close to 600, which is where we are at now."
Ms Di Fiore said one of the best outcomes of starting the group has been helping to connect people.
"Some of the women feel like they finally have the support they are looking for."
Making your own parents' group
Gabrielle Wood knows all too well what it feels like to lack support.
Ms Wood had only been living in Bundaberg for a few months when she fell pregnant.
She was facing motherhood for the first time and was feeling daunted, especially since her family and friends were far away in London.
"I was at home and my partner was at work, so that was lonely," she said.
Ms Wood said it took a few months to meet other mothers as there were not many baby classes or opportunities on offer in Bundaberg.
"There isn't a lot of choice," she said.
"The playgroups seem to be for children who are bit older. I found in that first year that was when I really really needed people [for support]."
Ms Wood said she started doing a lot of messy play at home with her son Lucas, but decided they would both enjoy it more if they had other people join in.
She started inviting people to her home and doing classes for children to enjoy messy sensory play with materials like sand, mud, paint, slime and jelly.
"I realised people really enjoyed it and they didn't want to do it at home," Ms Wood said.
"Because I didn't mind the mess I thought this might be a good way of helping other people who need to meet people."
'Get out there and do something'
Two and a half years on and Ms Wood says she now feels very settled in the Bundaberg community.
"I know I've now got lots of people to call on if we have any problems," she said.
Ms Wood said she continues to run messy play classes and has found it very rewarding to help connect other parents who are in a similar position to what she was in.
Her advice to anyone who may be experiencing isolation after relocating is to get out of the house as much as possible.
"Go to everything everywhere because there is always people in the same situation as you," she said.
Mr Closson agreed with this advice though he acknowledged it can be daunting.
"Sometimes what you need to do is the exact opposite of what you want to do."
"Unfortunately the only medicine [for isolation] is to get out there and do something," he said.
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